Soon, their old Phoenix Club boss Brian Potter (played by Kay) unexpectedly comes to visit, along with a cake, announcing that he's organising several events to help speed up their release. The lyrics are "Don't know where we're going, Got no way of knowing, Driving on the Road to Nowhere. A big fight is about to break out between Raymond and his henchmen against Max and Paddy. -->And we dont take shit from anyone, the only thing we wanna do is have some fun. How many kids does Christine McGuinness have? * WhatHappenedToTheMouse: In the last episode of Series/PhoenixNights, Max and Paddy take off in the motorhome because the woman who paid to carry out the murder they faked has discovered the truth and will be sending people after them. The pair are now in prison after the school bus siege. The farmer sells them a breeding pig for 100, which he claims they can sell on for 300. Then Paddy walks in, switches off the radio, and wearily asks "How many times are you going to play that song?". * AffablyEvil: For a DepravedHomosexual [[TheYardies Yardie]] who's literally named "The Bastard," Raymond the Bastard is pretty polite to Max and Paddy. Max and Paddy then dress as paramedics and use the TV under a blanket as a stretcher to get all three out of the building. [[HandsomeLech Paddy]] exploits his costume to feel up a little boy's mother. %%* ItsAllAboutMe: Both Max and Paddy are prone to this. After eventually realising what was going on, the three of them are caught in a chase in a service station, during which Billy shoots Paddy in the bottom. * OhCrap: Replace "crap" with "fuck" and you've got Mick Bustins exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients' cars. [[Squick The same hand he's just lathered shampoo onto his groin with. -->And we don't take shit from anyone, the only thing we wanna do is have some fun. [2] In 2011, he played his first major role in the feature film Screwed, directed by Reg Traviss, playing the part of Curtis Nelson. ** Brian Potter squeezes a few indignant utterances of his signature phrase: "I don't know if you haven't noticed but I'm disabled" into his short cameo in Episode Four. He has also appeared in Coronation Street and Emmerdale. After being arrested for the school bus robbery, the two of them are in jail. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Max agrees just to get Raymond off their backs and receive preferential treatment, including access to luxury chocolates and Sky+ . This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by team-mates for his physical resemblance to Patrick [=McGuinness=]. ]], * TunnelKing: [[spoiler: Max's attempts at this leave a lot to be desired. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". Though Paddy [[ADateWithRosiePalms doesnt get very far]] before the volume wakes Max up. He claims they can sell it on at market for around 300. You'd think by his name he'd be Indian, right? * DepravedHomosexual: While Raymond The Bastard is more evil than depraved, his first scene features him in the shower being lathered up by two of his cronies and complementing Paddys genitals. Elsewhere Paddy's love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. Elsewhere Paddys love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. * LukeIAmYourFather: [[spoiler: Averted. He has also appeared in Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Doctor Who. * ChekhovsGunman / EarlyBirdCameo: Maxs ex-girlfriend Tina appears in flashbacks in Episode Two before playing an important role in Episodes Three and Four. After hi-jacking a school bus, the boys are sent to prison and play up their tough image in an attempt for survival. Especially when theyre on the road. The prisoners also turn against them after finding they are not big time thiefs, money they have also promised to Mr. Big for the easy life. * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniel's father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. ]], * MacGyvering: When Max and Paddy refuse to pay an extortionate repair fee for the motorhome; [[spoiler: they break into the garage where it's being held, build a battering ram out of ladders and oil drums, fix it to the roof of the motorhome, and bust their way out of the garage.]]. Yesterday at 10:21 AM. Max's counter that he "has a good stand-up wash in the sink once a week" [[NotHelpingYourCase doesn't exactly help his case]]. Max and Paddy pose as members of staff, and Joe pretends to faint so an ambulance will be called while Max and Paddy steal the TV from the stockroom. They soon realise that they have been conned. Max And Paddy's Road To Nowhere is the much-loved sequel to Peter Kay's critically-acclaimed comedy series, "Phoenix Nights". Max and Paddy get sent to jail for their crimes. [1] A spin-off from Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights, the series follows the two Bolton doormen/bouncers Maxwell "Max" Bygraves (Kay) and Patrick "Paddy" O'Shea (McGuinness) as they tour around the UK in their campervan. * EvenEvilHasLovedOnes: Raymond, the main antagonist of Episode 4 clearly loves his boyfriend Pepe, and vice-versa. HilarityEnsues. * JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Max and Paddy. ''Max And Paddy's Road To Nowhere'' is Creator/Channel4 BritCom spun-off from the popular comedy ''Series/PhoenixNights'' that sees former Phoenix Club doormen Max (Creator/PeterKay) and Paddy (Paddy [=McGuinness=]) aimlessly travelling around Britain in a motorhome that they bought with the proceeds from faking an assassination and pocketing the cash during the final episodes of Phoenix Nights. ** Tina has an offscreen one in Episode Four thats both intentional and accidental. Max And Paddy's Road To Nowhere is the much-loved sequel to Peter Kay's critically-acclaimed comedy series, "Phoenix Nights". -->'''Max''': Me and him, when we're living together, we're kings of the road.\, '''Bobster''': Don't you mean ''queens''?!\. This starts a fight between Raymond and Max and Paddy but before they get beaten up, Max and Paddy are taken by the wardens and are told that their sentences were reduced to community service after Tina explains that what happened was done due to stress after the whole Daniel incident. Max and Paddy pose as members of staff, and Joe pretends to faint so an ambulance will be called while Max and Paddy steal the TV from the stockroom. ** Tina has an offscreen one in Episode Four that's both intentional and accidental. [[spoiler: They're better known as the Belgrano Sisters ( "on account of all the sailors that have gone down on them"]]) and their MO is to pick up sailors in nightclubs, [[SlippingAMickey drug them]], and rob them blind. * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. After the previous episode the duo are now being held on remand in prison. ]]\, '''Brian:''' [[spoiler: Sponge and a bit of jam. Elsewhere Paddys love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. ** A variant of this happens at the end of the same episode after Max and Paddy finally get some speakers for their TV and Paddy puts on his [[ParallelPornTitles Charlies Anals]] DVD. Max and Paddy Quotes @maxandpaddyline 16 Sep 2017 Follow Follow @ maxandpaddyline Following Following @ maxandpaddyline Unfollow Unfollow @ maxandpaddyline Blocked Blocked @ maxandpaddyline Unblock Unblock @ maxandpaddyline Pending Pending follow request from @ maxandpaddyline Cancel Cancel your follow request to @ maxandpaddyline ]], * PrisonsAreGymnasiums: [[spoiler: Episode Four includes a scene set in the prison's exercise yard and at the start of the episode, Paddy's cellmate challenges him and Max to a game of tennis.]]. The entire male staff of the Phoenix Club (expect Brian) in Episode 4, stripped nude and sprayed with disinfectant. * RealMenEatMeat: Max and Paddy are of this opinion at the start of Episode 5. The film, released nationally by Lionsgate Films in June 2011, was based on the 2008 book Screwed: The Truth About Life as a Prison Officer written by the pseudonymous Ronnie Thompson. Max and Paddy try to sell the pig on but no-one will take it as it is too old. This involved holding up Little Chef employees to gun-point to make her open late for them. Comedy Rewind: Looking back at Sink Or Swim, The making of The Oldest Comedy Club In Britain, First Gig, Worst Gig: Schalk Bezuidenhout. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two inept doormen, but feared gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. Career His roles on television include Wayne in The Street, Raymond the Bastard in Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere and Cecil in Prime Suspect 5. The farmer sells them a breeding pig for 100, which he claims they can sell on for 300. It was broadcast on Channel 4 and began on 12 November 2004, running for six 30-minute episodes up until 17 December 2004. Billy also appears in said flashback before he returns as the main supporting character in Episode Six. He goes on to say that the relationship abruptly ended after she overheard him and his friends making jokes about her height. Potter fails to listen, and the whole wing later see him on the news talking about 'the doormen' Max and Paddy: thus revealing their stories as lies. Singer Tony Christie was to sing the show's theme, but his version was only used once, at the very end of the final episode. The actor/comedian Reece Shearsmith turns up in this episode as one of Max's old friends. Although the main workout is shown in full, it is more intended as a spoof product than a genuine workout. It doesn't take long before they try selling it. Paddy is forced to share a cell with a tennis-playing Cliff Richard impersonator who actually believes he is Cliff. * ZanyScheme: Max, Paddy, and Gypsy Joes plan to steal a plasma TV from a shopping centre. Things get worse for the duo when Brian Potter turns up, determined to get his doormen out of jail. Paddy teaches him a few cool moves the following day, and they return to the club dressed as sailors in order to blend in. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. * ButtMonkey: Gypsy Joe in the first episode. While awaiting Tina's reluctant assistance to get them freed, they are forced to make a deal with Raymond the Bastard to share their non-existent loot. * {{Catchphrase}}: A few. * AcceptableTargets: In-universe, when Max and Paddy pull up to cut down a speed camera, passers-by salute and cheer them. Raymond the Bastard? * CoitusInterruptus: After Max and Paddy bring two girls back the motorhome, Paddy predictably has sex with one while Max prefers to have a drink and a civilised chat with the other. Can't find a movie or TV show? Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. However, the fight is prevented by a prison officer telling Max and Paddy to come with him. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". ** Paddy tries to have one at the end of the first episode but the volume of the TV wakes up Max who is less than pleased. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Hopeless doormen Max and Paddy leave clubland and embark on a series of wild and exciting adventures in their prized motorhome, "Easy Rider" style. * SchmuckBait: Raymond the Bastard telling Paddy to [[PrisonRape bend over and pick the soap up]]. * RealityEnsues: [[spoiler:Paddy survives Billy the Butcher shooting him in the backside, but he's still bleeding profusely afterwards]]. When Paddy insists that there's ''not'' a difference, Max calls him "Mr. '''Max''': How dare you?! PHONE Hello? Especially when they're on the road. Their new moves lure two local girls, Tracey and Louise, back to the campervan, only for one of them to steal Paddy's wallet. ** In a deleted scene from the first episode, Paddy walks in on Max having some"private time" in the toilet with his (Paddy's) copy of Razzle. * ChekhovsGunman / EarlyBirdCameo: Maxs ex-girlfriend Tina appears in flashbacks in Episode Two before playing an important role in Episodes Three and Four. * GreenEyedMonster: Billy the Butcher is murderously jealous of Paddy for replacing him as Max's bouncing partner. Or as Paddy calls them, "Big Bob's [[PrecisionFStrike Bastard]] Beans". [[GassHole A lot.]] * {{GassHole}}: The pig that Max and Paddy buy from a farmer impulsively ends up filling their motorhome with the stench of its farts. spoken by Paddy to Billy the Butcher when knocking him out with a traffic cone.]]. * CelebrityParadox: In episode three, in the scene where The Wolfster writes his telephone number on a beermat and hands it to Max, it is clearly a Peter Kay beermat, tying in with Kay's TV adverts for John Smith's bitter. The real farmer is more concerned about the death of his cow and so matters have to be resolved. At the very least, he doesn't make rude jokes about her dwarfism like her first love Max did. ** In the first episode, Max and Paddy pull two girls at a nightclub and bring them back to the motorhome. Max and Paddy drive into North East England to visit Max's old doorman friend Billy 'The Butcher' Shannon, who had previously briefly appeared in the 1994 flashback in Episode 2.

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